User talk:George Swan/Sandbox/Matthew Diaz: Difference between revisions

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My first draft here is based on [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Matthew_Diaz&diff=72801949&oldid=72801523 my first draft on the wikipedia.] Cheers! [[User:George Swan|George Swan]] 16:13, 20 October 2007 (CDT)
{{WPauthor|My first draft here is based on [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title{{=}}Matthew_Diaz&diff{{=}}72801949&oldid{{=}}72801523 my first draft on the wikipedia.] Cheers!|[[User:George Swan|George Swan]] 16:13, 20 October 2007 (CDT)}}


==More info in lead==


Could we have a little more information in the lead paragraph explaining why Matthew Diaz is important, please?  I was able to figure out what the article was about only because I've been following your other contributions.  Even now, having read the article and done a quick internet search for this man's name, I'm confused about who he is and what he did. --[[User:Joe Quick|Joe Quick]] 17:01, 20 October 2007 (CDT)
Could we have a little more information in the lead paragraph explaining why Matthew Diaz is important, please?  I was able to figure out what the article was about only because I've been following your other contributions.  Even now, having read the article and done a quick internet search for this man's name, I'm confused about who he is and what he did. --[[User:Joe Quick|Joe Quick]] 17:01, 20 October 2007 (CDT)

Latest revision as of 10:19, 22 May 2009

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My first draft here is based on my first draft on the wikipedia. Cheers!
George Swan 16:13, 20 October 2007 (CDT)

More info in lead

Could we have a little more information in the lead paragraph explaining why Matthew Diaz is important, please? I was able to figure out what the article was about only because I've been following your other contributions. Even now, having read the article and done a quick internet search for this man's name, I'm confused about who he is and what he did. --Joe Quick 17:01, 20 October 2007 (CDT)

It just needs a summary of the main points at the beginning, where you give his name, rank and approximate age. Isn't there a record of his date of birth because of legal proceedings? --Martin Baldwin-Edwards 17:05, 20 October 2007 (CDT)

sources

Article in this morning's New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/21/magazine/21Diaz-t.html
--Joe Quick 04:21, 21 October 2007 (CDT)