Talk:National Rifle Association: Difference between revisions
imported>Shamira Gelbman (first evaluation comments) |
Pat Palmer (talk | contribs) (just cut a lot of fluff and advocacy, as well as the Eduzendium template, from this article) |
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== Second (peer) evaluation comments == | == Second (peer) evaluation comments == | ||
Good intro to your page. It gives a pretty solid preview of what to expect from the rest of the article. | |||
I like the sub-sections under history about the early years all the way to post WWII era. It helps organize the history info real well since it is such an old organization with a long history. | |||
== Just cut this down to size == | |||
I just rememoved a whole lot of fluff and some advocacy from this article, and also its Eduzendium link. [[User:Pat Palmer|Pat Palmer]] ([[User talk:Pat Palmer|talk]]) 14:40, 22 February 2024 (CST) | |||
In the Objectives and Activities section you might want to expand a little more on the training and education of firearms. Try to find out about some programs they have for people and how they go about teaching them. | |||
All in all not bad. It’s short but it’s a good start and you’ve got the right idea. Nice job. | |||
Latest revision as of 14:40, 22 February 2024
First (instructor) evaluation comments
Hi Andrew,
Here are some suggestions for further improvements to your encyclopedia entry draft. Beyond the obvious need to write the article's later sections, some steps you might take to improve the sections you've already been developing include the following:
- You might restructure the "History" section so that the "Founding" subsection comes first. You can create your own subsection headings to frame the organization of the remainder of the section.
- You might elaborate a bit more on the historical context and rationale for the NRA's post-Civil War founding. What is the significance of Samuel Colt's manufacturing facility? What finally prompted the NRA's formation in 1871? How did its founders get it off the ground? What were its early activities and goals?
- Still in the history section, you might explain what led the NRA to form its Legislative Affairs Division in 1934 and ILA in 1975. Along the same lines, you mention that the NRA of the mid-1930s didn't really lobby; when did it begin to do so and why?
- You might flesh out the "Related Articles" subpage a bit more with some of the people and other terms mentioned in your main page -- e.g. America's 1st Freedom; Ambrose Burnside.
Shamira Gelbman 23:59, 1 October 2009 (UTC)
Second (peer) evaluation comments
Good intro to your page. It gives a pretty solid preview of what to expect from the rest of the article.
I like the sub-sections under history about the early years all the way to post WWII era. It helps organize the history info real well since it is such an old organization with a long history.
Just cut this down to size
I just rememoved a whole lot of fluff and some advocacy from this article, and also its Eduzendium link. Pat Palmer (talk) 14:40, 22 February 2024 (CST) In the Objectives and Activities section you might want to expand a little more on the training and education of firearms. Try to find out about some programs they have for people and how they go about teaching them.
All in all not bad. It’s short but it’s a good start and you’ve got the right idea. Nice job.