Talk:American Federation of Teachers: Difference between revisions

From Citizendium
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>Shamira Gelbman
(New page: {{subpages}})
 
imported>Shamira Gelbman
(first evaluation comments)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{subpages}}
{{subpages}}
==First (instructor) evaluation comments==
Hi Chad,
Here are some suggestions for further improvements to your encyclopedia entry draft. They pertain only to the sections you've already begun developing; keep in mind, though, that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages:
* You might restructure the "History" section so that the "founding" subsection comes first; then, you can create additional subsections to help organize the development of the AFT since the 1910s.
* You might elaborate a bit more on the information in the "founding" subsection to provide more historical context and a richer sense of how the organization initially got off the ground to your readers. Also, was the AFT affiliated with the AFL-CIO from the get-go? If not, when did this happen and how?
* Same goes for the various developments discussed in the rest of the "history" section -- particularly the more recent ones, which are stated very briefly rather than explained at any length. For example, what's the story behind the membership expansion you mention took place in the 2000s?
* The AFT's involvement in the healthcare reform debates is of course very timely; keep in mind, though, that your readers may be looking at the entry a few months (or years) down the line. So, you might want to rework that paragraph a bit to make sure that it maintains its relevance even once the healthcare issue loses its salience.
* It's not clear how the paragraph about "sound, commonsense public education policies" fits into the section on "Organizational structure" -- you might either clarify why it's there or remove it. Same goes for the listing of notable members at the end of the section.
* The discussion of school desegregation is very interesting; however, you might make the AFT's role the post-Brown developments a lot more salient within it.
*It's not quite clear what the AFT's role was in the Ocean Hill-Brownsville episode or why it counts as an organizational achievement; so, you might revise that paragraph to clarify why it belongs where it is.
* Finally, throughout the entry there are various terms that you might put in double square brackets (i.e. [[ ]] ) in order to create internal links; e.g. [[AFL-CIO]], [[Child Labor Coalition]].
[[User:Shamira Gelbman|Shamira Gelbman]] 22:31, 4 October 2009 (UTC)
==Second (peer) evaluation comments==

Revision as of 16:32, 4 October 2009

This article is a stub and thus not approved.
 Main Article
 Discussion
Related Articles  [?]
Bibliography  [?]
External Links  [?]
Citable Version  [?]
 
To learn how to update the categories for this article, see here. To update categories, edit the metadata template.
 Definition:  The American Federation of Teachers is a labor union representing 1.4 million education professionals in pre-K, primary, secondary, and higher education, related school personnel; federal, state, and local government employees; and nurses and other healthcare professionals. [d] [e]
Checklist and Archives
 Workgroup categories:  Education and Politics [Editors asked to check categories]
 Talk Archive:  none  English language variant:  American English

First (instructor) evaluation comments

Hi Chad,

Here are some suggestions for further improvements to your encyclopedia entry draft. They pertain only to the sections you've already begun developing; keep in mind, though, that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages:

  • You might restructure the "History" section so that the "founding" subsection comes first; then, you can create additional subsections to help organize the development of the AFT since the 1910s.
  • You might elaborate a bit more on the information in the "founding" subsection to provide more historical context and a richer sense of how the organization initially got off the ground to your readers. Also, was the AFT affiliated with the AFL-CIO from the get-go? If not, when did this happen and how?
  • Same goes for the various developments discussed in the rest of the "history" section -- particularly the more recent ones, which are stated very briefly rather than explained at any length. For example, what's the story behind the membership expansion you mention took place in the 2000s?
  • The AFT's involvement in the healthcare reform debates is of course very timely; keep in mind, though, that your readers may be looking at the entry a few months (or years) down the line. So, you might want to rework that paragraph a bit to make sure that it maintains its relevance even once the healthcare issue loses its salience.
  • It's not clear how the paragraph about "sound, commonsense public education policies" fits into the section on "Organizational structure" -- you might either clarify why it's there or remove it. Same goes for the listing of notable members at the end of the section.
  • The discussion of school desegregation is very interesting; however, you might make the AFT's role the post-Brown developments a lot more salient within it.
  • It's not quite clear what the AFT's role was in the Ocean Hill-Brownsville episode or why it counts as an organizational achievement; so, you might revise that paragraph to clarify why it belongs where it is.
  • Finally, throughout the entry there are various terms that you might put in double square brackets (i.e. [[ ]] ) in order to create internal links; e.g. AFL-CIO, Child Labor Coalition.

Shamira Gelbman 22:31, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

Second (peer) evaluation comments

Retrieved from "https://citizendium.org/wiki/index.php?title=Talk:American_Federation_of_Teachers&oldid=682264"