Talk:Mothers Against Drunk Driving: Difference between revisions
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imported>Michael Halpin (New page: {{subpages}}) |
imported>George Berkheimer |
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==First (instructor) evaluation comments== | |||
Hi Michael, | |||
Here are some suggestions for further improvements to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the sections you've already begun developing, but keep in mind that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages. | |||
* Your intro is serviceable, but you might flesh it out a bit to provide a more elaborate overview of what you'll be discussing in the remainder of the entry. | |||
* In the "History" section, you might be a little less vague in your discussion of how the organization was founded. For example, you say that Lightner "took action and set up the organization" -- what exactly did she do to get MADD off the ground? Also, you might expand the section much more to include information about the organization's development since the early 1980s. | |||
* In the "Achievements" section, you might explain much more about MADD's role in securing the .08 BAC level (not to mention what this means, when it happened, and what its implications have been. | |||
[[User:Shamira Gelbman|Shamira Gelbman]] 16:19, 8 October 2009 (UTC) | |||
==Second (peer) evaluation comments== | |||
To improve your encyclopedia article you may want to fill out the information box on the top of the page. Also If you can find more information and flesh out the sections that have little or no information with that being said you could use more resources. | |||
Latest revision as of 12:23, 9 November 2009
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First (instructor) evaluation comments
Hi Michael,
Here are some suggestions for further improvements to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the sections you've already begun developing, but keep in mind that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages.
- Your intro is serviceable, but you might flesh it out a bit to provide a more elaborate overview of what you'll be discussing in the remainder of the entry.
- In the "History" section, you might be a little less vague in your discussion of how the organization was founded. For example, you say that Lightner "took action and set up the organization" -- what exactly did she do to get MADD off the ground? Also, you might expand the section much more to include information about the organization's development since the early 1980s.
- In the "Achievements" section, you might explain much more about MADD's role in securing the .08 BAC level (not to mention what this means, when it happened, and what its implications have been.
Shamira Gelbman 16:19, 8 October 2009 (UTC)
Second (peer) evaluation comments
To improve your encyclopedia article you may want to fill out the information box on the top of the page. Also If you can find more information and flesh out the sections that have little or no information with that being said you could use more resources.