Talk:Juan Williams

Mary, I think it's a good plan of attack to put topical articles up. Remember to start with an encyclopaedic opening. See my first edit. 5 W's, (and an 'H'!) Aleta Curry 21:09, 22 October 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Aleta! I was starting to make the same edits you did and noticed you had started editing so I did not save the changes. I agree with your edits as that's how I would have written it. I was trying to make the article sound more like an encyclopedia rather than a news story. If I were to write it as a news story it would have been:

Juan Williams was fired from his National Public Radio job after comments he made during a Fox News television show...blah, blah, blah. Love your edits and thank you! Mary Ash 21:45, 22 October 2010 (UTC)

Ooh - sorry! Didn't mean to cross-edit! Did you get ye olde 'edit conflict!' message? Irritating, but can't be helped.

Looking at your 'newspaper copy' - yes, it's pithy, but do you see that that assumes the reader knows who he is in the first place? Also, think of a teenager in Calcutta reading your piece...what's Fox News? Should it be in brackets so they can read all about it?

Keep in mind that (in my view at least) an encyclopaedia should provide easy, informative reading for a person who has never heard of the subject before. The goal is to make people want to browse through its pages.

Aleta Curry 21:59, 22 October 2010 (UTC)